Still, having trouble with the "listening to the Spirit" stuff. .. :/ ... it drags me down badly when I feel like I'm wrestling through stuff with God's Spirit.
I recently basically got saved. ... I got up on April 21st, before heading to morning current events and ACE training, and I prayed and asked Jesus Christ to come into my heart. ... Long have I focused on God and on improving and growing.. and in sophomore year of Highschool I got saved or rededicated my life to God, at least I thought so. Still, it wasn't about Jesus and accepting His free gift, it was "God I want to live for you, I'm tired of living for me." .. So, he has indeed used me, and I have done much in His service it would seem, over the last 5 years. .. He has guided and provided for me as he does for His children. However, my esteem, value, and focus/attention to Christ Jesus and his role, which only He could fill, have been so.. so small.
For some time now I have recognized doubts of my salvation and faith, and I realized that the value I placed on Jesus as well as my perception of Him were frighteningly low.
I don't know what all of this necessarily says about my life up to this point. I know this though: God is who He says He is. Jesus Christ is the one and only mediator of the saving covenant that brings me into a relationship with God. I believe and have received Jesus Christ and His Spirit, so I am His and He is mine, and I will live for him and someday live with him in Heaven.
Feel free to ask questions. .. I hope I will have adequate and honest answers for you.
-Stephen
